Craps Table Comedy

Whether it’s the bounce of the dice or the turn of a phrase, funny things happen at the craps table.

Just ask Wes and Faye, craps players who sent along their stories for our amusement.

Wes: Six in the morning, I was warming up, playing alone at the only table that was open. Just me and the crew. I might have been ahead a little bit. I’d make a couple of points, seven out, then point seven the next time, then make a couple of points.

This other guy asks if he can join me. I told him welcome to the table. I was midroll, but when I sevened, he took the dice. First roll: 7. Second roll: 7. Third roll: 7.

He said, “Sorry about that,” and I told him, “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with winning your pass bet on every roll.”

He did it again. Fourth roll: 7. Finally, fifth roll, he rolls a 5, we both take odds, I bet come, he bets 6 and 8.

Sixth roll: 7 out. Unbelievable. He says, “Maybe I should come back when there aren’t so many 7s in that arm,” and he leaves. The crew and I could just laugh.

Faye: You know all those old clichés, “Baby needs a new pair of shoes,” and all those things you don’t really hear all that often. I heard a funny turn on it once.

The dice had just passed to a new shooter, nice-looking man in his mid-30s, I’d say. Just as he took the dice, a young woman carrying several shopping bags came up behind him and said, “Baby needs a new pair of shoes.”

He did a double take and said it looked more like a dozen pairs of shoes. Everybody laughed. He turned back to the table and before he rolled said, “Daddy needs to pay for a new pair of shoes, and it looks like a few things to go with them.”

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